This is a transcription of an interview with myself and my web guy, Edwin. Here we discuss the reason why, some medical aspects and my feelings after my stroke.

Listen to this interview with Ray

Transcription of Interview

Edwin: I was telling you I’m not fit healthy. I’m a little fat guy sitting at a computer, transcribing blog posts and doing websites. But you were saying Ray, that you were fit and healthy?

Ray: Yeah. You don’t have a stroke because you’re old. When I was in the stroke ward, I met a twenty-one-year-old girl and she’d had a stroke. You don’t realise how many people have had strokes. You think that it’s an old man’s disease, you know, an old man’s thing. But it’s not.

Edwin: How did a 21 year old have a stroke?

Ray: I don’t know. She just had a stroke.

Edwin: Anyone can have a stroke?

Ray: Yes.

Edwin: Is it more likely to happen if you’re older?

Ray: I don’t think so. I was 60 when I had a stroke. I was biking every day. Fifteen kilometres on a bicycle. And I was working. I was probably over working myself.

Edwin: Were you stressed from it?

Ray: Work? I think so. Yeah.

Edwin: You dunno for sure, though?

Ray: I went to the doctor. When the doctor diagnosed me, I asked – “What happened? Why did I have a stroke?” And he says – “I can’t give you an answer.”

Edwin: What about cholesterol? Had you had a blood test?

Ray: Before the stroke my cholesterol was perfect. I wasn’t overweight. They did seven different tests on me – putting me in these gigantic machines – all that sort of stuff. The doctor said, “I’ve done all the tests, but I really can’t say how or why you had a stroke.” Oh my God. I thought, “That’s handy.”

Ray: So I’ve changed nothing, really.

Edwin: You can’t even learn from a mistake?

Ray: Wasn’t one. I wasn’t drinking. I was on call all the time. Maybe that was it. He just said, “Sorry, I can’t give you an answer.” I said, “Do you think it’s stress?” And he says “Maybe.”

Edwin: He didn’t know.

Ray: Yeah. Anyway – you have to do these exercises and all that.

Edwin: Do you think you might have been stressed? Cause you said you were in charge of a lot of things in your work.

Ray: For 21 years I was on call.

Edwin: You were basically working 24/7.

Ray: The thing that I remember in that time – when I was sleeping, the phone would ring because there was a boat out at sea. Something would go wrong and you’re always tense in case you get that phone call. Someone in trouble at sea.

Edwin: Do you think sleep might’ve had something to do with it? Cause if you’re like that, you’re not properly sleeping.

Ray: Probably. Yeah. It could have been. Yeah. Could have been. When I’d sleep, I slept well –

Edwin: But you were 10% awake.

Ray: The phone would ring and sometimes I’d go back to the radio (at work) to see what was going on.

Edwin: VHF radio?

Ray: Yeah, yeah. A big radio because they didn’t have phone reception. So it was relayed to me by somebody else that I had to go to the radio to address the problem. So I don’t know. One thing I do remember was that when I left work, I felt such a relief that I didn’t have to answer the phone. I was always, “Where’s my phone? Where’s my phone?” For 21 years.

Edwin: Yeah. The responsibility.

Ray: Maybe.

Edwin: But then they would’ve – can’t they detect stuff in your blood. Isn’t cortisol released when you’re stressed. Can’t they detect something like that or are they just – is it a black art? Stress?

Ray: Some people, like Warren buffet, works 24/7.

Edwin: Maybe it’s how people deal with stress. Some people hide it. Others tell everyone about their problems.

Ray: Some people…

Edwin: There’s the mind trick that you can do. I remember I was telling you about that Ted talk on stress. It’s exactly the same physiological thing that happens in your body when you’re excited. When you’re, when you’re excited, it’s the same stuff.

Stress – What is it?

Kelly McGonical in a TED talk was saying, don’t even call it stress, call it excitement. I’m excited about this new [insert word] challenge. I’m excited about this new [thing]. It’s an opportunity, a challenge.

Edwin: Her point was “Yes, you’re stressed, but aren’t you also excited about it?” Like the other day. The reason why I didn’t seen you is because I was stressed – doing this massive website. When you stare – at night, when you’re looking at the ceiling and you’re thinking about something – you know that you don’t want [that thing] in your life and you want it to finish. You don’t wanna be staring at ceiling thinking about it anything when you should be sleeping. Things take up your psyche.

Ray: There’s been lots of emergencies in my career –

Edwin: Water!

Ray: Yeah. Water and boats.

Edwin: Those two words put together are an emergency.

Ray: Exactly. And you’d always have a contingency plan. If that one didn’t work, then you’d have another one, and another one. So, so you’re always thinking, “If I stuff that one up, I’ve got this one…” You are looking after all those boats,and fisher men and all that sort of stuff.

Edwin: Big responsibility there.

Ray: But at the same time I loved it. And sometimes I would, I couldn’t wait to get, get to work. I just loved it. Loved it. But when I had the stroke –

Edwin: Your body didn’t love it.

Feeling of Peace & Bliss after My Stroke

Ray: Yeah. But I just felt that – peace. I thought, “Oh riiiiight.”

Edwin: It was like a mini death?

Ray: Yeah. I thought, “Oh gee.” I remember in the hospital, I said, “If I’m gonna die, – this is the way.”

Edwin: Wow. This is the way to go.

Ray: This is it. Maybe that’s it. Cause I had people come and – people would come and visit and I thought, “Oh peace.”

Edwin: Great. People coming to visit me. That’s nice.

Ray: Go away. I thought – I wanted peace.

Edwin: Oh right. So you –

Ray: I wanted to go back to that euphoria. That peace was peace.

Edwin: Did you have any like quasi-religious – You’re getting close to talking about God. You didn’t have anything like that?

Ray: No, no I did. I always believed in what, what do you call God? You know. I knew that there was something divine being something out there. I mean, how, how the plants grow and all that sort of stuff?

Edwin: Stuff? Well, mass and randomness is pretty powerful.

Ray: But seasons and all that sort of stuff. I always believed that there was a God. And even when I was –

Edwin: The Christian one, or just a general –

Ray: I think a Christian one. Christian. Yeah. But, but that’s got, um, that’s got holes in it, you know?

Edwin: They’ve all got holes, those organised –

Ray: Religions, yeah. But there is something there I’ve always thought that there’s something there.

Edwin: Did that change after your stroke? Your way of thinking? Did you become sort of more “religious” in practise? Do you pray or anything like that?

Ray: I did pray a little bit. Quite a bit. I’ve always sort of believed in something like a higher, higher being, you know, because, because I’d always thought, how the hell did we get here?

Edwin: I kind of do too. Yeah.

Ray: And I thought –

Edwin: Do we need, do we need this?

Ray: Yeah.

Edwin: I sometimes think it’s the universe. There’s a lot of science talk, which is interesting. I’m probably just an atheist, but I’m actually agnostic secretly. Between me and you and this microphone. I think the universe might be intelligent. Yeah. But for me to even think about praying to a God is – I’m making too many assumptions that God is a bit like a human. So I think, “No, it’s gotta be much more powerful.”

Ray: Of course. Yeah.

Edwin: The Universe. Just one Star’s got enough in it to blow your mind away about how it works. I’ve always got a reserved spot for – maybe not the word religion, but spirituality.

Ray: I’ve always been a firm believer that if I have to do something – you know, like, um, if a sort of a miracle happens in your life, you think, “Oh, I can, I can only do so much”. But sometimes, somewhere, somehow –

Edwin: Something happens

Ray: There’s a little bit here there that you might be interested in… And that happens. And all of a sudden you’re doing your thing –

Edwin: Interesting. Did, did any, did your stroke change any of your perspective on all of that spirituality

Ray: Did it? Yeah, it did. Yeah. It did.

Edwin: What was the, before state, before your stroke and what was the after state – in the spirituality realm?

Ray: Um, well I did go to church –

Edwin: After or before?

Ray: Before. That was more to get together with like-minded people, you know? It could be an apex club. Mine happened to be a church. I used to listen to sermons and stuff like that. I thought, yeah, that’s pretty good sermon, you know? I found out that later on that I had the opportunity, to give my own sermons to people, you know? Yeah. And so that, so that was quite good as well. But it’s not about church. There’s so many funny ideas about what people think about churches. But church is yourself, really.

Edwin: Is that how you’ve thought after the stroke? I imagine having a stroke like yours would change my perspective of things. So before the stroke, you might have been thinking of this whole “blogging and writing a book” as an opportunity maybe to make some money or whatever? No, it’s not. Your intention is to spread the word. Talk about your strokes.

Stroke Awareness

My Stroke Story

Ray: Yeah. I’ve got 600 “My Stroke” books that I’ve dished out all around Perth.

Edwin: To the right places as well. Medical places where they’ve got a vested interest.

Ray: Yeah. One’s already come back. I don’t know how I can help a stroke victim because sometimes they can’t read.

Edwin: You might be helping someone who’s who’s destined to have a stroke now. Right now, you might be stopping me from having one just by what you’re saying. Cause I, I ride bicycle too, but I haven’t ridden it for so long. I’d love to ride for bloody 20 minutes a day.

Ray: I think it’s, it’s good that you get it. We do need to exercise. You make yourself even if you hate it.

Edwin: I like it, but don’t do it.

Ray: Is the way I dealt with stuff. I rode. I rode.

Edwin: So when you say rode – you rode before – is that what you’re saying? You rode, you rode not ride a bike.

Ray: Before I had had a stroke, I rode my bike. After I found a row machine. I thought, this is pretty good. You’ve got a kayak now. This way you don’t get wet. Yeah.

Edwin: Because the last thing you need after this stroke is water.

Ray: Yeah. So I just row, um, 20 minutes a day. Twice.

Edwin: That’s good. So you have a rowing machine here at home. That’s great. It’s the one in the gym they recommend that uses all the muscles.

Ray: It does. And, and I’ll tell you what it, when you start rowing your mind can go anywhere. You can listen to the radio or stuff like that. And before, you know, 20 minutes is gone.

Ed: And the chances of having another stroke are gone, too.

Ray: Yeah.

Ed: Great talking to you Ray.