Physiotherapy was also critical to help me become independent again. There was much mental and physical pain as I tried to balance, walk, and use my right arm. While I was being helped and there were people around, I felt brave but behind closed doors it was a different matter. I was beginning to wonder if I needed a psychologist’s help.

That was a hard barrier to get over. At this stage I needed help, but pride was getting in the way. I thought I really didn’t want to bother anyone anymore as the hospital system had done so much for me.

I drew a clock as requested. I knew it was a clock, but I didn’t know how it worked.

My sister’s saying:

The Night Nurse

I was determined to do well because of all the work others had put into me. I didn’t want to let the team down. Sometimes late at night I would practise walking up and down. At the end of the corridor there were stairs that I desperately wanted to conquer.

Early in the mornings the night nurse, when she had time, would keep an eye on me, while I was relentlessly trying to walk. It was time to attack the stairs! At first the night nurse didn’t allow me to use them, she said ‘NO WAY!’

One time she had a few moments to spare and she knew I was eyeing-off the stairs. Even though I couldn’t talk properly I pleaded so that I could at least get up a few steps. At first she said ‘NO’ but then she said ’YES.’ Then she guided me up the first few steps.

The next night she let me go further and further – the condition was not to tell the Physio otherwise she’d be in trouble. The
Physio couldn’t believe that I had made such substantial progress. Little did she know that the night nurse was now pushing me to go as far as I could. I was extremely grateful to her because she gave me confidence and encouragement.

Encouragement

Encouragement lifted my spirit.

I was especially thankful because she’d broken every rule in the book. At this time, I felt good, even though I was exhausted as both the night nurse and the physio were working me hard. I didn’t mind the pain as strength came with that. I can look back now, and it seems that every time I was overwhelmed with sadness and despair certain people would come along (and walk with me) and beef me up with strength like the little night nurse.

(to be continued …)